Time Waits For No Man

My uncle passed away earlier this week. He had been fighting cancer, and although that fight had been hard on him, his death came suddenly and unexpectedly. I had seen him in mid-November and had chatted with him in my parents' living room, hugged him goodbye, and walked him to his car. At the time, I had no clue that it would be the last time I would see him. I knew that his time could possibly be cut short, but I didn't know it would come so soon.

My uncle went through a lot in his life. He overcame so much, and was one of the nicest men I know. I will miss him greatly. We saw him at least three times a year at various family gatherings, and sometimes more often. He was an example of perseverance to me, and he was kind and encouraging.

After his death I looked through scanned photos trying to find a picture of me with my uncle. I found two of them, the most recent having been taken 20 years ago at my wedding reception. The other had been from a play I was in during my Freshman year of high school that he had come to see. My older sister was the lead in the play, and my part was not even a speaking part, but there is a picture of just my uncle with me from the night he came to see our play. As I looked through those photos I found myself regretting not taking more pictures of him while he was alive, and not making sure I had a more recent one of the two of us together. I regretted not calling him and my Aunt more often. I regretted not taking advantage of the time I had. 

Then my thoughts turned to other family members and friends. When was the last time I had a picture of me with my Dad? I haven't combed through all of my photos, but I know there hasn't been one recently. I suspect that the last one taken with me and my parents (without the rest of the family too) was probably also from my wedding. I have had some Sister and Mom pics over the years, but I don't have a recent picture of just me with my Mom either. Next I thought about my friends. If something happened to them, would I have a picture of us together to remember them? Or if something happened to me, would they have a remembrance? The answer is typically no. Do the people I love know that I love them? Do I tell them? And once I have told them do I continue to remind them that I love them? I'm not very good at that kind of thing. With a few exceptions, I tend to keep my feelings for other people well out of the spotlight. Feelings are risky things that are best not talked about. Or are they? Well, of course they are risky. Loving someone is always a risk, but that is one of the incredible beauties of life. 

Losing my uncle has really made me contemplate some things. Aside from wanting to take my camera and tripod on a road trip to take photos of myself with every person I love, it has also made me think about how little time we really have. It is pretty rare to know when your time is going to be up. Even when we knew he was sick and not doing well, none of us expected the suddenness of his death. We all thought there would be at least a little more time. But none of us knows how much time we really have. I could die in my sleep. A tree could fall on my house. The big earthquake/tsunami could strike and wash everything away. Anything could happen and shorten my expected amount of time on this world. We are all walking around with timers ticking away, and we don't know how long the timer has been set for. We may expect years, and only have days.

So what am I going to do? I could drive myself insane trying to make sure that every single person I love knows it, and then keep telling them in case they forget (I am still not sure this isn't the way to go some days), or I can make a decision to live each day more fully, and to take opportunities when they come instead of putting them off, thinking there will be more time another day. I want to take those pictures with friends and family members. I want to take chances to tell others that I love them. I want to do good things daily. I want to reach out and lift others. I want to pay attention to chances to change people's day, even if they are just in small ways. 

I'm not perfect, and I know that I am going to have crappy days where I don't accomplish any of those things. I also know that I am very likely to slip back into the habit of thinking that there is always going to be more time. That seems to be the nature of man. I will very likely continue to procrastinate a lot of good things I could be doing with my time. But I hope that I will be better than I used to be. 

If you knew your time was short, what would you do with it? Who would you call to tell them you love them? Who would you thank for being a force for good in your life? Who would you hug? Who would you want your picture taken with? Don't wait. Go tell them now, while you still have time.