Today is the day!

I can hardly believe that is has already been a whole year! It seems like only a few months since I started blogging, and here it is already my first blogaversary!
To celebrate I am going to give my brain a rest and repost an old blog that I wrote near the beginning of my blogging career. I hope you enjoy it!


Have you ever noticed that DIE is the key word in Dieting?

Coincidence? I think not.
I have friends and family members that either have been, or are currently, engaged in that epic struggle of man (or woman) vs fat. I myself, as an American consumer have been drafted into this battle or am at least a victim of it due to the sneaky tactics of the fatty enemy (namely Oreos, Ice Cream and other horribly bad for you, yet oh, so delicious, stuff). We are engaged in a war here people! A war to save our very lives, and our quality of living. But here is where the edges of sanity become blurred for me. Which side am I on? I DON"T KNOW! I may be a double agent...or a triple agent! I can't be sure where my loyalties lie. I am NOT to be trusted.
Of course I can see the glorious objective of the dieting and exercising (note the similarity in pronunciation to exorcism-always painful or so I have heard) side of things, the svelte figures, the two, four or six pack abs, the lengthened life spans, the extra energy and vitality that accompanies good health, the reduced medical costs because of reduced illness and disease. These are all wonderful things, and well worth fighting for. But alas, I find myself torn. Why you might ask? Because of missing out on some flavor? Some mood food? Well, yes actually. That IS part of why I am torn. But also, because the very foundation of my entire upbringing, was based on food. Not the whole wheat, low sugar, carob kinds of food (although you might be surprised to find out that I was well exposed to those foods as a child) but rather many of my earliest and best childhood memories revolve around food. Good family times spent gathered around the family hearth (which of course was the Television) with some wonderfully healthy popcorn (slathered in an UNhealthy amount of butter or margarine and generously doused in salt). Oreo cookies, cracker jacks, ice cream, Cheetos, chips or crackers and clam dip, root beer floats, the list goes on and ON! I can tell you that one of my very earliest (and best) memories involved going to the Auto parts store with my Dad when I was about four years old, and on the way back stopping at this bakery for these pastries that were shaped like a figure 8 (I remember thinking they were like a racetrack) with jelly in the middle section of each side. I also remember getting to have Twinkies at the babysitter's house. Its one of the few pleasant memories I have of daycare. Is Thanksgiving about sitting around the table with your family and being so grateful for everything? Of course, but its also about that turkey, fresh out of the oven and and that crispy, fat dripping skin that is just waiting to be eaten. Its about pies, and mashed potatoes whipped with butter, and eating two full meals, and then going back to pick at the leftovers every two hours, and the great conversations you have when you run into other family members who are also raiding the fridge at the same time. Christmas is about candy and cookies, and gingerbread houses, and all the wonderful foods you can think of. Its also about giving, and about love, but a lot of the giving I can remember is taking those cookies, and candies and delivering them to friends and family, and how much it sucks to hear that someone is dieting and won't be able to enjoy the food you brought them. Really, dieting isn't that much different than dying is it? Because when you die you don't get to enjoy the food anymore either.
Its not just about sugary dessert things either...this whole dieting thing. Although I have to admit that I have the hardest time giving up the sugary things. Still...Broccoli to me, was meant to be eaten in a large pool of cheese sauce, or if its raw, dipped in a vat of ranch dressing. Zucchini is meant to be battered, deep fried and dusted with Parmesan cheese, then dipped in the previously mentioned vat of ranch dressing. Mozzarella cheese, although great on its own, is even better when treated like zucchini. Baked potatoes are wonderful when properly dressed, this includes butter, sour cream, bacon, cheese and chili.
I have yet to find someone who is dieting who is also truly happy about it. Of course they are thrilled or at least satisfied with the results, but I don't hear them looking forward to their next meal. I imagine that family gatherings may be dreaded because either they have to watch everyone else enjoy the food they wish they could be enjoying, or they give in and feel guilt for the next month about it. One of my sisters gave up making berry pies and jam this year for her diet. That's a whole year of berrydom down the drain...a year that can never be recovered. My parents went on this diet a while ago (more than a year I think) but they fell off the wagon, and even though they had been feeling so good about how they felt physically, the food just called them back. My Dad has now given up sugar again, and I know that he has done it for good reasons. I support him in his endeavors, I hope he can win the war. I do think he misses getting to eat chocolate though.
Me, I am overweight. Not monstrous, but bigger than I should be. Yes, I feel low of energy, and I remember the days when I was in shape and how great it was to be in shape. Yes, I long to be in shape again. Yes, I want to live a long and full life, and grow old, and still be dancing at 90. So that should put me squarely in the camp of the dieters shouldn't it? However, I also want to make holiday goodies with my children, and when they want me to try their cookies, or their chocolate truffles or toffee, I don't want to say-"Sorry, Mommy is on a diet." I want to churn out special meals for family gatherings. I want people to look forward to what food I might bring next. I like to cook, and I like to be praised for my skills at it, and I have not found a low fat or low sugar recipe yet that will get me the kind of raves that chocolate marshmallow cookies with chocolate frosting will. I want to enjoy life, but I don't want to always be worrying about if I can have something, or if it will undo all the progress I have made. I don't want to miss a year of berry pies, or buying my favorite flavor of Tillamook ice cream that is only out on limited release and hasn't been sold in stores for two years. (Cookie dough if you were wondering-get it while you can.)
The kicker for me is that once you enlist on the diet and exercise side of the war, you are a lifetime soldier. There is no going back. Of course there are days you are losing the battle, but once you really sign on you have to be prepared to go the distance. You have to be relentless, you have to keep on pushing at it, because if you stop, if you slip, and aren't able to catch yourself then you are suddenly undoing all that you have accomplished. Dieting is an uphill battle. Its so easy to lose your footing and end up back where you started or worse. I am not sure that I can take that kind of pressure. I will have to keep thinking about it for a little while longer. While I am thinking about it, I may as well have something tasty to comfort me. So I will say, pass the ice cream, but I will also add, just a small bowl please.