Ah, high school and the incredible caste system that took place in the cafeteria every day at lunch. Somehow during high school I managed to avoid most of that confusion. I was by no means popular, but I had some popular friends. I also had some unpopular friends, and I sat with whichever friends I felt like sitting with on a given day. The rat race just wasn't for me.
I am however, realizing with growing discomfort that in some ways the blogosphere reminds me of a high school cafeteria. There are advantages of course, because with the blogosphere I can figuratively sit with all of my friends on any given day by leaving a comment on their blog. Sometimes my presence is even acknowledged and that always feels good. However, as fun as it is to sit with my friends during lunch, I am trying hard not to notice that not very many people are choosing to sit by me. Were they offended at that time I brought egg salad for lunch? I just don't know. I don't like it though. I am not talking so much about not liking the lack of comments as I am talking about not liking that I care about the lack of comments. I never really cared about the whole popularity race in high school, so why should I care here? And yet, I read posts with tips about how to increase your blog readership, I read posts asking people to delurk, and I see the oohs and aaaahs in the comments sections when people get to some milestone in the number of comments reached. Is that what is really important?
So I am taking a little step back to examine myself and my reasoning. Why did I start blogging? It was to write, to have a place to express my ideas, my thoughts, and my sometimes quirky opinions. When I started to blog I didn't have it set as a public blog on blogger. I was not driven by comments, because only family members and a few close friends even had access to read my blog. Over time though, I began reading more and more blogs, and I enjoyed reading the many diverse comments. I let go of some of my paranoia and put my blog up as a public blog, and I also began leaving some comments here and there very cautiously. Occasionally I am left a token comment from bloggers that I read and comment on. I know that this is a courtesy on their part, and I appreciate it. I also have some friends and a few family members who will comment more often. I know that people are reading or at least loading my blog because of my handy dandy stat counter. Why does it matter to me that I regularly get 0 comments? I think it must go back to that whole high school thing. Sitting next to a popular person didn't mean you were popular, but if they actually talked to you or said hi, then you had suddenly risen above the level of a speck of dust and you were a real person. (Yes, I know its flawed, but that is how it always felt to people). If it didn't bother me then to not be among the popular elite, then why should it bother me now?
I am a little tempted to disable comments, but I do enjoy the ones I occasionally get. I think the problem is not going to be whether or not people choose to comment, but in my own personal mindset. Who am I really writing for? It used to be for myself, but somewhere along the line I think I started to WANT that acceptance and I let it matter too much. I started trying to force the writing and I started to try to write more often to make sure that people who were reading had something new to read. And I was making that effort with little reward. Writing on a regular basis didn't increase my comment level, and if my stat levels go down, does it really make that much of a difference? High school was 16 years ago after all, and I think its too late to go back. I think I need to go back to writing for me and not for that faceless and voiceless audience I have been trying to please.
8 comments:
I read your blog regularly. I am pretty sure I have commented, but commenting for me is as scary as writing my blog. Funny thing is, I have felt the exact same way. I am trying not to be obsessive about it. I am trying to remind myself that people don't know me and those that do actually like me, so what is the big deal? My family and friends rarely comment on my blog, but I am with you, I love getting the comments. Not sure why that is.
I love to read about your location as my MIL lives in Portland and the next time we go there, we will be visiting the coast as well. Your pictures are cool, too.
I decided not to put the stat counter on my blog or anything else like that because I would just obsess and worry about the whole thing in the end.
I really think, though, that it is the summer and people are wrapped up in all kinds of kids and activities and maybe that will change when school starts? I don't know. I'm new to blogging and now I am rambling. But I wanted you to know I read.
You so struck a nerve with this post! Sometimes it gets to me that I comment regulary on 55 blogs, and don't get anywhere near as many reciprocal comments as I'd like. It hurts my poor wee ego, and really, I wish it didn't. I wish it didn't matter, and that recording my thoughts and experiences was enough.
But then, I cared about popularity in high school too. Probably because I had zilch, and I took that fact too seriously. I don't think I completely shook off the old high school angst.
My comments took a huge dip a few weeks ago, and I think Lisa is right about summertime pulling people away from the computer. Not that that's a bad thing!
Reading other blogs, that get lots of comments, I've gotten a sense of what gets more response from readers. I've incorporated some of what I've learned, but some of it, I don't want to. Because it's not what my blog is about.
It's a toughie. ~hugs~
Well, I started my blog with the goal of getting an audience to read it.
And now I am obsessed. And it is not a good thing. I keep thinking I am going to back off. That it doesn't matter. But I am so tottlly addicted to feedback.
This may require prayer.
PS I thought you were on a BREAK!
I am not usually a return commenter. I don't think many people check back to see if I commented on their comment, but dapoppins, just in case you check this, my break was a simple one complete day, not just away from blogging but completely away from the computer. It was HARD.
Now I am just trying to spend less time on it on a daily basis.
teee-heee the one time I check back! I know how hard it is. The first thing I do in the morning is sit in front of the computer with my coffee. Then I proceed to drink a whole pot of coffee .... infront of the computer. It is bad. It is an adiction. I know it. Even when I try to take a break to do something like work on scrap books I come back to the computer to print the journaling and stuff...and there is my email, my blog, just calling to me in temptation. The only thing that keeps me off this thing is when someone else is sitting in front of it. I do manage to do laundry. sometimes.
I did not care for high school to much because of the idiotic "caste system". I was pretty much me and if someone chose to be my friend then great, and if they did not want to be my friend then great. I did not want to limit myself to their groups. Anyways, tommorrow, July 22nd, is DaPoppin's birthday, feel free to stop by and wish her a happy one.
I go through the same thing (being obsessed with comments) and at times it's a bad-enough feeling that it makes me want to pull the plug on the whole thing. I didn't even know what blogging was 18 months ago. How did it suddenly become so important, what strangers think of me???
I enjoy your blog and hope you can find balance. I hope that for myself too. :)
Sometimes it takes me about 8 return visits before I can think of a comment. Sometimes the lack of comments bothers me, and sometimes I think, "look how many people I have to respond to."
My grandpa used to say this,
"As a rule, Man's a fool. When it's hot, he wants it cool. When it's cool, he wants it hot. Always wanting what it's not." Yeah, that pretty much applies to me blogging.
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