There are days when I think that life was easier when I was a child. As children we spend a lot of time focusing on the day when we will be a grown up! We think that being a grown up equals a lot more freedom. In some ways this is true. I think that adults have a little bit more freedom of choice than most children do. However, I also think that an adult's freedom of choice is tempered by a lot more responsibility.
Thinking back on childhood, there are a lot of things that I miss. I miss riding my bike. I loved having a bike as a kid. I rode all around the neighborhood, and having a bike was a kind of freedom to explore the world. After age 10 or so I didn't have a bike anymore, and my parents couldn't afford to get one for me. I wished for a bike every birthday. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I finally got a bike again, but by then, some of the thrill of riding had changed for me. Not long after that my bike was stolen, and it took another ten years to get a new one. Now biking has really changed. My rear end is a lot bigger than it was when I was a kid. Riding a bike just isn't as comfortable as it used to be. Now as an adult there are rules I have to follow when riding a bike. I have to stay in the bike lanes and ride on the road rather than zipping up and down the sidewalks like I did when I was a kid.
Another thing I miss is playing on the playground. Maybe all of my grown up woes can be traced back to the changes in my body as I have become a grown up. The swings are not made for grown up rear ends, and neither are the slides. I don't have the energy to run and play that I had as a child, and although I take my kids to the playground, there is a certain amount of restraint that I feel like I have to show as an adult, and playing just isn't the same. I have also found that grown up bodies just aren't able to defy gravity the way a little kid can.
Birthdays used to be a special thing. It seems like once you pass a certain age Birthdays just lose their lustre. They are just another day, but one that you secretly hope will somehow be magical and wonderful. Even heading towards 34 I can't help but get a little spark of excitement when I think about my Birthday coming up. It doesn't usually take me long to remember that Birthdays aren't what they used to be.
I miss my Grandma. She was my favorite person in the world. There were moments when she was stern, but she loved us, and she was a wonderful, strong person that I look up to still. She died the last day of school my 8th grade year. I still think about her almost daily. When I was preparing to get married and I was going through some boxes of my old things I ran across a birthday card from my Grandma. It was a typical Grandma card. It had a bouquet of flowers on the front, and said "Do you know what makes this world a beautiful place?" Inside it said. "People like you." Of course, there are many Grandmothers out there who would send a card like this. But at the bottom, my Grandma wrote "Believe this card." I don't remember how old I was when I got that card, or even getting it the first time, but when I found it in that box as I was preparing to get married and move out of my parents home...I felt like I had gotten a big hug from my Grandma.
Being a grown up has its stresses...but it has its joys as well. Now I have five children of my own. There are days when I wish I could go back to being small enough to play on the swings and ride my bike. But most of the time, I am glad I have the chance to be the one that makes the Birthdays magical for my kids. I am the one who can give them hugs when they get hurt, and can teach them the things they will need to know to make it through life. In a little over a decade, I may even get to be a wonderful Grandma like mine was. Maybe growing up isn't so bad after all.
Thinking back on childhood, there are a lot of things that I miss. I miss riding my bike. I loved having a bike as a kid. I rode all around the neighborhood, and having a bike was a kind of freedom to explore the world. After age 10 or so I didn't have a bike anymore, and my parents couldn't afford to get one for me. I wished for a bike every birthday. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I finally got a bike again, but by then, some of the thrill of riding had changed for me. Not long after that my bike was stolen, and it took another ten years to get a new one. Now biking has really changed. My rear end is a lot bigger than it was when I was a kid. Riding a bike just isn't as comfortable as it used to be. Now as an adult there are rules I have to follow when riding a bike. I have to stay in the bike lanes and ride on the road rather than zipping up and down the sidewalks like I did when I was a kid.
Another thing I miss is playing on the playground. Maybe all of my grown up woes can be traced back to the changes in my body as I have become a grown up. The swings are not made for grown up rear ends, and neither are the slides. I don't have the energy to run and play that I had as a child, and although I take my kids to the playground, there is a certain amount of restraint that I feel like I have to show as an adult, and playing just isn't the same. I have also found that grown up bodies just aren't able to defy gravity the way a little kid can.
Birthdays used to be a special thing. It seems like once you pass a certain age Birthdays just lose their lustre. They are just another day, but one that you secretly hope will somehow be magical and wonderful. Even heading towards 34 I can't help but get a little spark of excitement when I think about my Birthday coming up. It doesn't usually take me long to remember that Birthdays aren't what they used to be.
I miss my Grandma. She was my favorite person in the world. There were moments when she was stern, but she loved us, and she was a wonderful, strong person that I look up to still. She died the last day of school my 8th grade year. I still think about her almost daily. When I was preparing to get married and I was going through some boxes of my old things I ran across a birthday card from my Grandma. It was a typical Grandma card. It had a bouquet of flowers on the front, and said "Do you know what makes this world a beautiful place?" Inside it said. "People like you." Of course, there are many Grandmothers out there who would send a card like this. But at the bottom, my Grandma wrote "Believe this card." I don't remember how old I was when I got that card, or even getting it the first time, but when I found it in that box as I was preparing to get married and move out of my parents home...I felt like I had gotten a big hug from my Grandma.
Being a grown up has its stresses...but it has its joys as well. Now I have five children of my own. There are days when I wish I could go back to being small enough to play on the swings and ride my bike. But most of the time, I am glad I have the chance to be the one that makes the Birthdays magical for my kids. I am the one who can give them hugs when they get hurt, and can teach them the things they will need to know to make it through life. In a little over a decade, I may even get to be a wonderful Grandma like mine was. Maybe growing up isn't so bad after all.
1 comment:
I like the way you tied this up in the end...and the Grandma Card.
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