Dreams and Ideas

I was reading my journal and came across this entry from May 10, 2017. I thought I would save it here.
Sometimes my thoughts spiral out of my head, expanding and filling up galaxies of possibilities. Some shoot across a dark sky, lighting their path for a brief moment, and others grow into constellations of plans, ideas, and introspection. I am not sure I will ever have the time, energy, or resources to explore the universe of my own mind, but the potential there is both thrilling, and frightening.
Yet daily, despite worlds and solar systems of thoughts and ideas, I am distilled into wasted moments of mindless nothing. Scrolling through social media, playing monotonous puzzle games, staring at the unfulfilling glow of a screen. The lights in the night sky of my mind are dimmed, ideas-lost or given up on, dreams-unexplored, inspiration-fading.
At the end of my life, what will the sum whole of me be? Will it be wasted potential? Will I have limited myself to one small planet of existence when I have always had endless space at my fingertips?
One moment, I want nothing more than to create, to breathe life and beauty into things. In my mind, there is vision, and once again-potential. Thinking about creativity, whether it be painting, burning, building, writing, or music, there is a thrill, a call, a completeness that I can't find in any other way. A creator is what I long to be. A Builder of Worlds, an Inspirer of Ideas, a Revealer of Visions. That is me at my core; or at least in my dreams.
The awful reality is that most of my time is wasted time. I can't even go a day without wasting the majority of my time. Just thinking about ideas is exhausting. It is so much easier to just give them up. Ideas. Dreams. Plans. Just keep on slogging through life until it is finally over. Sometimes it seems like it isn't the everyday monotony that is torture, but the dreaming of more.
Always, I am dreaming of more, yet I never do anything to pursue who I want to be. That is incredibly sad.
Even now, I can't do these thoughts any justice. I feel-so tired. My eyes and limbs are heavy and want only to sleep, and with sleep comes DREAMS.