Superman of course! I was recently subjected to a viewing of Superman IV by my children, and son age 6 is planning on being Superman for Halloween. So the man of steel has been in the back of my head off and on for a few days. I have come up with some questions for him...or rather, there are some specific things I am wondering about.
#1. Where does Superman keep his cape? Its not like its some little cape here! Its a regular tea length cape! Does he keep it rolled up in his briefcase? Does he tuck it down one pantleg? Is it wrapped skillfully around his torso? We may never know...maybe his suit has a secret compartment or something and he can just pull a string and Voila! Out rolls his nicely pressed cape. It HAS to be wrinkle free...I mean it. I am pretty sure its safe to say its not wrapped around his torso though, because when they show him rip open his shirt, we see the S symbol, not a wad of red fabric. Here is what I think Superman should have done in the first place. I think Clark Kent should have been a hunchback when he got to Metropolis. He could have used the cape to make a hunchback, and since he would always be hunched, no one would be able to really look him in the face, for fear they might be thought to be staring...it would be a perfect cover, and convenient too!
#2. What if Superman didn't WANT to be a hero? What other jobs could he have had? Of course you are all going to think of the obvious things that a super strong guy could do...but here is what I think...I think that he should have become a clothing designer. Or at least a fabric manufacturer...that supersuit after all, rarely gets dirty. It survives explosions, fires, and many other hazards and it comes through with flying colors. I haven't seen even a fray. The only time I can think of his suit looking in disrepair was when he was under the influence of Red Kryptonite, or was losing in a big fight (both of these are obviously a tool used by the movie director to make us understand the horrible gravity of the situation...Oh No! Superman's suit has a smudge...the world is about to end!) We all know that the real supersuit would never be stained or maimed in any way. And if Superman, or as he could have been known, Suave and Fashionable man was willing to share the wonder of that fabric, we would never have our clothes wear out, we would be protected from minor cuts and abrasions because things wouldn't tear through our clothes, and small children and factory workers in third world countries could look forward to a better life than the sweat shops...Also...think wrinkle free! We would never have to iron again, and Suave and Fashionable Man would still seem like a hero to the world. He could even branch out into footwear...because after all...those boots are miraculously durable as well.
#3. Does Superman have telekinetic powers? Okay I am just throwing this in because it showed him rebuild the Great Wall of China using beams (not heat beams) from his eyes in Superman IV. It also showed him use his piercing stare to lower some people down to safety when Nuclear man was wreaking havoc in the city. I never new he had that power.
#4. I admit it...I really only had two questions and just thought up the third on a whim.
Here's hoping we all have a SUPER day!
#1. Where does Superman keep his cape? Its not like its some little cape here! Its a regular tea length cape! Does he keep it rolled up in his briefcase? Does he tuck it down one pantleg? Is it wrapped skillfully around his torso? We may never know...maybe his suit has a secret compartment or something and he can just pull a string and Voila! Out rolls his nicely pressed cape. It HAS to be wrinkle free...I mean it. I am pretty sure its safe to say its not wrapped around his torso though, because when they show him rip open his shirt, we see the S symbol, not a wad of red fabric. Here is what I think Superman should have done in the first place. I think Clark Kent should have been a hunchback when he got to Metropolis. He could have used the cape to make a hunchback, and since he would always be hunched, no one would be able to really look him in the face, for fear they might be thought to be staring...it would be a perfect cover, and convenient too!
#2. What if Superman didn't WANT to be a hero? What other jobs could he have had? Of course you are all going to think of the obvious things that a super strong guy could do...but here is what I think...I think that he should have become a clothing designer. Or at least a fabric manufacturer...that supersuit after all, rarely gets dirty. It survives explosions, fires, and many other hazards and it comes through with flying colors. I haven't seen even a fray. The only time I can think of his suit looking in disrepair was when he was under the influence of Red Kryptonite, or was losing in a big fight (both of these are obviously a tool used by the movie director to make us understand the horrible gravity of the situation...Oh No! Superman's suit has a smudge...the world is about to end!) We all know that the real supersuit would never be stained or maimed in any way. And if Superman, or as he could have been known, Suave and Fashionable man was willing to share the wonder of that fabric, we would never have our clothes wear out, we would be protected from minor cuts and abrasions because things wouldn't tear through our clothes, and small children and factory workers in third world countries could look forward to a better life than the sweat shops...Also...think wrinkle free! We would never have to iron again, and Suave and Fashionable Man would still seem like a hero to the world. He could even branch out into footwear...because after all...those boots are miraculously durable as well.
#3. Does Superman have telekinetic powers? Okay I am just throwing this in because it showed him rebuild the Great Wall of China using beams (not heat beams) from his eyes in Superman IV. It also showed him use his piercing stare to lower some people down to safety when Nuclear man was wreaking havoc in the city. I never new he had that power.
#4. I admit it...I really only had two questions and just thought up the third on a whim.
Here's hoping we all have a SUPER day!
1 comment:
hahahahahaha! no really! hahahahaha!
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