Blogging Blahs

When I started out blogging, it was just going to be a way to have a writing outlet. A fun diversion for myself that didn't involve me going shopping and spending a lot of money that I shouldn't be spending. It was going to be a way to keep family and friends somewhat informed on my life without actually informing them of anything at all. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought that if I at least wrote something every so often, then at least I was writing SOMETHING, which is more than I have managed in the last ten years since I got married and then became a Mom.
I will tell you that I wanted to be a writer for almost as long as I can remember. As an 8 year old I wrote journal entries about wanting to be an author, and I never really let go of that dream even though the things I wanted to write about changed over the years.
Now I am in a rut. When I started out writing this blog, about 7 months ago, I loved writing in it. I didn't care what other people thought of it, it made me smile. Sure, some of my posts were off the wall, and a few were even slightly amusing. I LOVED being a blogger. I constantly had ideas of things to write about. My posts were long, and sometimes opinionated. They weren't necessarily anything high quality, but that didn't matter because I just loved writing again.
Then I became a blog reader. I admit to checking most of the many blogs in my favorites folder several times a week, sometimes even daily. I enjoy reading the blogs of others. Through my perusal of blogdom I have discovered that there are many family oriented blogs out there written by capable, talented people. Of course there are many blogs out there written by foul-mouthed idiots as well, but I have distinguishing tastes and I only frequent certain neighborhoods of the blogosphere. Has reading other people's blogs hurt my own blog writing? I think it has. I think that realizing that there are many smart, capable and even very funny people out there that have coherent and well put together blogs has made me realize the mundane qualities of my own blog. At least lately.
At the start I was enthralled with it. I suppose it is like the tides and has an ebb and flow quality. Right now I am sailing away from the shores, staring back at what I once had and felt, and knowing that I can't get back to it right now.
I am not going to give up on my blog. But I think that I will continue to write less often in it. Only about 4 people read it anyhow, so I don't think it will be too missed. I just can't seem to get the old me back. Not just the old blogging me, but the old me in general. I am not even sure who that person was. I have enough of a struggle just getting out of bed every day, let alone trying to write something coherent and clever on a blog that goes largely unread. Maybe once spring is here I will feel some new green leaves sprouting out in my mind and my writing will come back...maybe not. For now I am just going to wait this out. I hope you are still here when I get back.

Every Morning...

I think I can understand why babies cry so hard when they are born. Imagine what it would be like to be cradled safely and securely in a warm and quiet environment where it is mostly dark, and then be forced to emerge into a cold world with bright lights and noise. I would cry too. Oh wait...that happens to me every morning. I am forced to emerge from my warm blankets in my quiet and mostly dark room into a cold world with bright lights and noisy children. Of course I at least get to wear PJs, and my body doesn't have to be forced through a hole that is much smaller than me in order to get up in the morning. Sometimes though, I feel like I am clawing my way out of a dark tunnel and into consciousness. More often I feel like I am trying not to get to the point of consciousness. There have even been days when I think it takes me longer to drag myself out of bed than it takes for some people to actually give birth.
Still, if you think about it, birth is a very traumatic thing. Babies have never felt what its like to be really cold. They have had a very sustained environment, that has kept relatively the same temperature, and aside from it becoming slowly cramped over time, they have not had to feel a lot of discomfort. Noise in the womb is muffled, as is light. I imagine that birth is quite a shock to them. I am glad we only have to go through that once.

What do you think of my new template?

I never really loved the old template I was using on this blog. I had some frustrations with it when I tried to tweak the html, and although the new blogger has a drag and drop feature that you can use to customize your templates I decided to stick with html.
I can't take credit for this layout of course, except for choosing it. I didn't do much tweaking to it other than to add my music player and to do the links and etc. I also took my virtual pets off because for some reason their cartoony goodness just didn't fit in with the classier look of this blog. I am sure they will either make a return appearance on some other template in the future, or I may put them over with the boys' pets on the other blog.
So let me know what you think of the new look. (That includes those of you that I know who may be somewhat anti chocolate.)
Someday I will learn more about html and maybe try designing a template from scratch. Its on my list of things I would like to learn more about.
Anyhow, I hope everyone is having a great and sincerely noncommercial Valentine's Day!

Snails, the best pets EVER

Okay...so they are relatively boring pets in some aspects, that is true. But they are pretty low maintenance, and that has to count for something.
First let me say that I am not much of a pet person. Your standard issue pets are generally not for me. Let's peruse the list of standard pets and I will tell you why.
Dogs: Well, I am just not a dog person. I am sure some people will think less of me for saying so. But that is just life. My grandparents had a dog from hades when I was young, and even though we had a couple of perfectly good dogs that I loved growing up, that little white ball of fluff that lived at Grandma's house ruined dog ownership for me forever. I am pretty much afraid of every dog I see. Dogs also equate to a responsibility that is almost equal to having another child. They have to be bathed, taken to the bathroom, fed, taken to the vet, and paid attention to. You can't expect to have a good dog if you don't pay attention to it. (Hmm, quite like having children). Also, if you want to go on a vacation, you either have to go on a dog friendly vacation, or you have to find someone to watch your dog. That equals money, and energy spent. So, I don't expect to ever have a dog. I could also go into the torture it would be for a dog to live here with our five rambunctious boys, but I think I have enough reasons without that.
Cats: Okay, so I love cats. Cats are great. But I am allergic to them. I have to say that I would get one anyway because I love them that much, but several of my children are also allergic to cats, and even though I am willing to go through torture myself to have a cat, I am not willing to put them through it as well. Also, the torture for a cat to live with my five boys does factor into it. Maybe when all the kids are grown up I will think about getting a cat, but until then I will just enjoy other people's cats when I can.
Birds: We have a parakeet. We used to have two, but I think one of them starved the other one to death by never letting it near the food. Growing up we had a great parakeet that we could let out and he would fly around the house, and sit (and unfortunately poop) on our shoulders and he would perch in the rim of our drink cups when we played board games. His name was Charlie and he was a great bird. The bird we have now is named Oscar, and he came to us with a healthy fear of people. We can't let him out of his cage, and he freaks out when his cage is approached...so he leads a boring existence stuck in his cage. It makes me kind of sad actually. Having a bird takes work too. Of course Oscar is pretty easy to care for, but I think his quality of life depresses me. I do not plan to get another bird when he is gone.
Fish: I grew up with fish. I love fish. They were a big part of my growing up years. I had goldfish, and I still remember when my first fish died when I was in first grade. We have had fish over the years since we got married. We had goldfish, and we had tetras. Unfortunately the goldfish ate the tetras. Then we just had tetras, and we got frogs to go with them. Frogs fall into another category, and they are not one of your standard pets. There is nothing wrong with having fish, and I will probably get some later in life, but there are some hassles about owning fish. We have chlorinated water, so we have to dechlorinate it. Changing the fish water is a hassle. Our tank was tucked back in a corner of our room to keep it out of the hands of the boys (I will just say that a couple of fish were squashed by eager little boy hands that wanted to hold them, and while that particular boy has probably outgrown that phase, he still has two younger brothers). Having to keep the tank away from the boys equals out to me not really being able to enjoy the fish. So it became just another responsibility. Eventually the fish died, and we just had the frogs. Then the frogs got sick and died, and I am not replacing them because with African Dwarf frogs it seems to take getting several before some of them will live beyond a couple of weeks, and its too much hassle.
So what is our perfect pet? I find virtual pets to be great because they don't die if you don't feed them, (some of our virtual pets can be see on my other blog). But our other pet besides the bird is a garden snail. It was something #1 son got at the end of third grade last year as part of a science thing. He brought it home in a plastic cup and named it Claireford (since snails are both male and female he named it for Clifford and Claire Huxtible from the Cosby show) I usually call Claireford a he, just because I can. Claireford lives in a one gallon fish bowl with a little dirt, some rocks and a shallow water dish in the bottom. I put a screen over the top. He only has to be fed about once a week, usually a baby carrot, some lettuce or whatever other veggies we have in the fridge. I also spritz a little water in at that time to fill his water dish, and to keep the dirt a little moist. That's it. Its easy, low maintenance, and if Claireford feels like it he can even have a family of his own without me having to get another snail. He is so easy to take care of that I think I overdo it sometimes. For instance when it got cold he stopped eating and just stayed stuck up on the lid/screen for days at a time. I was worried he would starve so I pried him off periodically and put him next to his food. Only he would just go back to the top and go back to sleep. I finally figured out that he was hibernating. So I just put the food in and he eats it if he wants to. If we go on a vacation, I know that we can be gone for a week, and he will be fine. And if we do get sick of him, or he has babies, we can always put him out in the woods without guilt. So if you are looking for a good pet for a little boy, one he can watch but won't probably want to touch...a snail might be just the right pet for you.

Does your hairstyle reflect your personality?

If frizzy hair equals a generally frazzled personality, then mine certainly does.
I have to say that I cannot really think of anyone I have met that loves their own hair. The grass is always greener as they say. People with thick hair want thinner hair; People with curly hair want straight hair and vice versa. I say, appreciate what you have while you still have it. When I was young my hair was a lot thicker than it is now. Ever since I had children my hair has gotten thinner and thinner (and no, it isn't getting thinner from pulling it out...it just falls out on its own). I would say that I have not been satisfied with my hair for years. BUT...I could have none...so I count my blessings. I also have not started acquiring any grey or white hairs...so there is blessing #2.
I give D and the boys haircuts. I do this mostly to save money. Poor D has had to suffer through my giving him haircuts for the last 11 years. There were some less than pretty cuts over the first year or two until I got used to what he wanted done with his hair, and there was one really horrifying haircut that I gave him after an argument about the said haircut. I will just say that I was right, but I caved in to his side (somewhat out of spite), gave him the haircut he was saying he had to have and he ended up with a really REALLY bad haircut. Luckily we never took pictures of it, and haircuts went smoother after that.
Some looks work for some people, but not for everyone. I have seen some very cute little boys in crew cuts, and tried giving one to #3 aka T when he was a few years old. He came out looking like a convict and I have never given that haircut to anyone again...until today that is. Today I was buzzing the sides of #5 aka C's hair...I usually buzz the sides short and then buzz the top so its an inch long and leave some in the front for bangs. Well, as I was buzzing one side near the top of his head, he turned his head unexpectedly, and there went his bangs. Or half of them at least. There was nothing I could do to fix it...so I had to go ahead and give him the crew cut. He doesn't look as much like a convict as #3 did (maybe because #3 has had stitches on his face twice and has scars, and he bit through his lip once and has a permanent little lump there like a fat lip) #5 still has a sweet baby face and big blue eyes...so he doesn't look so tough, but I have to say that I am still thankful that his hair will grow back. I do have to wonder though when we go out in public, if people will have a different impression of his personality than they did when he had longer hair on the top. I think its more likely that they will think I am just a lazy Mom that went for the easy cut.
I will admit to wondering sometimes at the haircuts I see on kids these days. I have to wonder if some of these styles are the kids' ideas or the parents trying to make their kids seem cooler. #1 aka J has been wanting to use a little gel in his hair to make it spiky. He is almost ten. I wonder if he is old enough to know what he wants. For me, I am happy when their hair doesn't stick up every direction at once...I suppose if I let him spike it, at least it will hopefully stick up in a uniform and purposeful manner, vs his usual bed head look. I guess we will just have to find out.
Sorry this entry isn't making a lot of sense. I mostly wrote it because its been five days, and since I just did the haircuts it was on my mind. I will try to do better next time.